ANGEL: When Angels Cry Read online

  “He’s doing good.” Cole murmured. Gabe nodded silently.

  The routine continued to go well and Angel seemed to be relaxing–until Ricky moved him up against the pole. A sudden stiffness gripped the boy and he froze, clutching the metal rod in tight fists.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Gabe asked low, tight.

  “I don’t know.” Cole frowned as he watched Ricky attempt to keep the rhythm as he whispered in Angel’s ear. The boy shook his head and he seemed on the verge of breaking down. He suddenly pulled away from Ricky and rushed off stage.

  Stunned, Ricky shot a quick glance towards Cole and Gabe. Cole gestured that he would take care of it and for Ricky to go ahead and finish the routine.

  “Come on.” Cole nudged Gabe’s arm and they moved quickly towards the back of the club.

  “What do you think happened?” Gabe asked with concern.

  Cole shook his head silently. Angel had looked as if he were having some form of panic attack.

  ***

  The pillow pressed against Max’s cheek as he hugged it close, body tense. He closed his eyes and focused on the pleasurable sensations Dane’s lips and fingertips were creating as they moved down his back. A deep breath pulled into his lungs when the man kissed the small of his back then the upper swell of his rear. He had a touch that could soothe away heartache, if only for awhile.

  “You have a beautiful body.” Dane murmured. His hands rubbed down over his firm backside and his cheeks instinctively flexed against his palms, inciting the man to squeeze a little. “And your ass is just…heavenly.” With that compliment, he began to drop kisses down the crease between his cheeks.

  Max moaned and lifted up to him a bit, his cock hard as steel underneath him.

  Dane’s thumbs slipped between his cheeks and he spread him open, dragging a single thumb tip down through the crack, massaging his tight entrance.

  “Fuck.” He breathed hard and shoved his face into the pillow, his anal ring flexing and squeezing with anticipation. Another gasp burst from him when Dane’s warm, slick tongue circled the puckered hole then pushed into it, stabbing at it gently. “Uh!” Max bit the pillow, body straining.

  Squeezing his cheeks harder, Dane licked up through his crease then down low, grabbing at his sac with his lips, sucking his full balls.

  “God!” Max panted, groaning tightly. “Fuck! Your mouth feels so damn good.”

  Dane moaned and dragged his tongue back up to his tight ring, let spit fall onto it then worked his finger inside him, then two, and three.

  “Oh fuck!” Max raised his ass and pushed against Dane’s fingers as the man began to stroke him deep, seeking out his magic button and blowing his mind. “Uuh!! Fuuck!” He fucked his fingers with urgency, panting into the pillow, clawing the fabric. “Oh god, Dane! Please fuck me! Now! Please!”

  Needing it as bad as Max, Dane shifted onto his knees and urged Max up as well then applied more saliva to his crease. “Fuck, Max.” There was an emotional strain to his voice as he rubbed his hands up his back then back down over his ass cheeks. He spit into his palm and coated his cock then pushed into Max slowly, holding his hips firmly, gently pulling him back onto him. “Fuck. Uuuhh…”

  “Oh god!” Max clawed the bed beneath him as his arms strained, holding himself up on hands and knees. “Fuck, baby! Yes! Shit, you feel so fucking good.”

  Dane leaned over his body, wrapping his arms under his chest, holding him tight as he pushed harder, sinking deeper inside him, tearing sharp gasps from them both. His adrenaline pumping, Dane thrust into him, strong and deep, his thick cock head gliding forcefully over his sweet spot, again and again.

  “Oh fuck.” Max gasped hard, back arching as he moved with the man, fucking him back. “Oh my god.”

  His finger’s gripping his chest, Dane panted against the back of his neck, dropping staggered kisses on his back and shoulders as he shoved himself into him, over and over. “Lay down.” He trembled thickly, unsteadily, and Max sank down against the bed, the weight of Dane’s body covering him as he continued to thrust at him, his body molded over his. Dane caressed him and kissed him, cries of pure ecstasy bursting from his lips, his hips shoving against Max’s flexed ass cheeks, rocking him on the bed.

  When Dane’s hands rubbed down his arms and his fingers intertwined with his, his warm lips kissing his shoulder softly, affectionately…Max understood that, on some special level–they loved each other. It wasn’t an always and forever kind of love, but it was love nonetheless.

  And it felt good to be able to embrace it, share it…on any level.

  Chapter Nine

  Hellish Existence

  Get a grip.

  He couldn’t make the trembling stop. Angel hugged himself hard, arms squeezing around his waist as he leaned against the counter in the dressing room, hunched over. His eyes burned with tears but he fought to keep them back. What is wrong with you? Why are you freaking out now–after all this time? His face began to ache as his jaw clenched tight. Pressure coiled in his chest like a vacuum, sucking out his air.

  You can’t be freaking out–you can’t!

  He had been fine the first time he and Ricky had been practicing on stage, so why was this happening now? You know why. Last time you weren’t actually ‘performing’.

  “Angel?” Cole was suddenly at his side, arm around his shoulders. “Hey, babe…what’s wrong?”

  Angel shook his head and the tears found their escape, sliding down his cheeks. “I can’t…breathe…”

  “You’re gonna be okay.” Cole said calmly. “Just take deep breaths. You’re having a panic attack. You’ll be all right.”

  He sensed someone on the other side of him, then Gabe touched his back, his hand warm, soothing. “Easy, kiddo. We’re right here. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  Lifting his head, Angel looked at the men. “Will…will Max fire me?” he choked. He needed this job. He had to keep it. He couldn’t go back to…

  “Hey, don’t worry.” Cole assured. “Max won’t fire you. You got stage fright, it’s understandable. Happens to the best of us.”

  Stage fright. Maybe in a sense it was. But not the way Cole meant.

  “What happened?” Gabe asked gently. “You were doing great. What made you panic?”

  Angel looked to the floor; he couldn’t tell them the truth. He didn’t know how to confide in anyone but Maddy. He had never had anyone but his little brother, no real friends, even when he was a kid. The friendliness and concern of the guys here at the club caught him off guard, and he wasn’t sure how to respond to it–or fully trust it. Trust wasn’t something he had a lot of experience with.

  “I don’t know.” He whispered. “I just…started feeling like I couldn’t breathe and…started to get dizzy and nauseous.”

  “Well go ahead and get dressed.” Cole told him, “Then come out to the bar and just take it easy.”

  Gabe patted his back lightly. “And despite everything,” he smiled. “You still made a bit of cash.”

  Having forgotten about the money stuffed into his G-string, he began to pluck out the bills. Most were twenties, but a few were fifties and hundreds. God, please let this be enough to get Wade and Axel through to the weekend.

  ***

  Dane squeezed his fingers around Max’s, his body melded to the man. He ached from head to toe to just let go and release, but he wasn’t ready for this to end, not just yet. His lips touched the curve of Max’s neck, dropping kisses, breath puffing warmly against his damp, hot skin. Dane shoved into him deep, gasping each time Max’s inner sleeve flexed and tightened around his member.

  “Oh my god, Max.” Dane shuddered and pushed in again, trying to control his thrusts–and losing the battle.

  Max panted against the pillow, his body moving with Dane’s. “Don’t stop.” He trembled, voice quavering, eyes closed. “Please…don’t stop.”

  The slick top sheet barely covered Dane’s rear and slipped lower with every thrust into his lo
ver until the open air was caressing his bare skin. He kissed between Max’s shoulder blades and released his hands, letting his fingertips float lightly down his ribs. The man shivered, breath hitching. Dane backed off him. “Turn over.” He murmured.

  Max twisted onto his back and Dane leaned over him, dropping his mouth to his chest. His teeth wrapped gently around a stiff nipple and tugged then drew it into his mouth. Max groaned and shoved his hands into his hair, fists filling up with ebony strands. “Oh god…”

  The tip of Dane’s tongue traveled the crests and valleys of Max’s muscular torso, leaving no path unexplored. His erection throbbed, begged to be back inside the man, clear droplets dripping onto the sheet beneath him. Max’s abdomen quivered and jerked, sucked away from his touch then returned, pleading for more as Dane began to nip his hard muscles gently. Max’s stiff cock dug into Dane’s stomach, seeping juices, smearing his skin. Groaning, Max lifted up, pushing harder against him.

  Dane wrapped one hand around his steel shaft and stroked slowly. “Fuck.” Max whimpered and shoved up against his hand, through his fist. There was no give to his member. Ejaculation was imminent. Dane scooted up closer, working his hips between the man’s thighs as Max eagerly spread his legs. His cock pulsed and drooled as he pushed himself back through the tight hole, the thick head forcing through the inner bands, popping past each one as he sank deeper into the hot, tight sleeve of Max’s anal core.

  “Uuuhh!” Max arched, grabbing Dane’s ass, short nails gouging his rock hard cheeks as they flexed with the force of entering the man. “Oh fuck! Yes…baby…Shit!”

  “Fuck, Max.” Dane panted, head dropped forward. “God, you feel so good.”

  Supporting himself on one arm, he reclaimed Max’s cock in his fist and worked him good and hard as he let go and fucked the man without reservation. Their cries and shouts exploded throughout the bedroom, ricocheting off the walls.

  “Fuuuck!” Max yelled sharp, forceful, his body locking, jerking as he burst, shooting thick tendrils of cum into the air. Dane stroked him vigorously as he fucked him with renewed urgency, his own body tightening, straining, as the cum pushed up through his cock then burst inside the man.

  “Uuuhh!! Fuuuck!” Dane choked on the strangled wail, slamming into Max with hard, short pumps, giving the man everything he possessed. “Oh fuck! Yes…” He thrust at him until the orgasm released its hold and a sudden bout of exhaustion overwhelmed him. “Oh my god…” he gasped hard and fell onto the bed beside Max.

  His eyes closed, Max’s hands pressed against his heaving chest, breath puffing from his parted lips. When he finally twisted his head and looked at Dane, his eyes were damp. “I don’t know how to do it anymore.” He whispered, his words thick, unsteady.

  “Do what?” Dane murmured.

  Max stared at him for a moment then slowly turned his head and stared at the ceiling. His throat worked against his emotions, tears thickening in his eyes, sliding down his temples. “Pretend that…I can live without him.” He looked at Dane again, warm tears pouring out. “Almost twenty years…I’ve been telling myself I’m okay, I don’t need him. But every day…” He bit his lip as fresh tears formed. “Every fucking day, I wake up with this hole in my chest, like…my heart was ripped out.” He licked his lips slowly and swallowed thickly as he shook his head, breath breaking up his throat. “And it hurts, Dane.” He closed his eyes, chin trembling as he curled his arm over his face. “It hurts so fucking bad.”

  Dane pulled the man into his arms and held him tight, his hand cupped gently at the back of his head. He kissed his hair and let him cry.

  Almost twenty years? What the hell could have happened between him and Kaplan that was so bad it spanned nearly two decades and continued to keep them apart?

  ***

  “Here.” Angel handed the folded bills to Wade. He watched the guy unfold the money and count it out.

  “Three hundred bucks.” He nodded. “Now we’re getting somewhere.” He looked at Angel. “Keep this up and you won’t have to take side jobs.” He shrugged and smirked. “Although it would be that much extra cash.”

  “Wade, you said…”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Wade held up his hand to ward off any whining. “Fine. You keep the cash flowing in, and I’ll keep my word.” Axel reached across the table for a couple of the bills and Wade smacked his hand hard.

  “Fuck!” Axel jerked his hand back. “Come on, Wade. It isn’t just yours.”

  Wade jabbed a finger at him. “You’ll get what I decide to give you, and not a fucking cent more. You don’t do shit. I’m the one who has been setting up the gigs from the start, dealing with assholes who want too much of a cut. You just sit back and reap the benefits. So yes, it is all mine until I deem otherwise. Got it?”

  Axel nodded and grumbled, “Yeah, I got it.”

  They made Angel think of Jackals, scuffling over a carcass. He left the kitchen as Wade recounted the cash, and went to the bedroom. Maddy was in bed. Trying to be quiet, Angel closed the door softly and walk to his bed that consisted of a single old sleeping bag and his bare pillow. He slipped off his shoes and undressed down to his shorts and a t-shirt then crawled onto the mattress and sat with his back against the wall, watching Maddy sleep.

  He drew his legs up and hugged his knees, and tried to contemplate what had happened on stage that evening. He understood the source of his panic, but didn’t know why it was flaring up again after having no episodes for almost a year.

  His stepbrothers’ laughter reached the bedroom, pushing through the closed door. Angel tried to imagine a day when those voices would be eradicated from his and Maddy’s lives for good. So many nights, he had thought about taking Maddy and just running away. But Wade wasn’t so stupid as not to know Angel loved his little brother enough to want to get him out of there. He’d made his threats, early on. Told Angel if they tried to run away, he would find them, and when he did–Maddy would be the one to pay for it. In the worst way.

  Though Angel was sure they could run far enough that Wade would never find them…there was always the ‘What if’ hanging over his head. What if Wade did catch them? He knew what would happen to Maddy–and Wade would make Angel watch. As it was right now, Maddy remained untouched. Physically, anyway. Though he worried about what all this was doing to him psychologically. But he couldn’t take the thought of Maddy being sexually abused. It was his little brother’s greatest fear. And Angel’s too.

  Reaching to the edge of the mattress, Angel grabbed his jeans and dug down into the rear pocket and withdrew two bills. He dropped the pants and sat back against the wall again and stared at the two twenties. Crawling off the bed, he went to the corner of the bedroom where the large hole afforded the rats entrance into the room, knelt down and reached inside the wall. He brought back a small mason jar with a metal lid, unscrewed the lid then dropped the two bills in with a small collection of loose change and other smaller bills, replaced the lid then hid it back inside the wall and returned to bed.

  It wasn’t much, but it was a start. If he could skim a little off his earnings without Wade or Axel finding out, maybe one day he would have enough to take Maddy far away–without fear of being found again.

  Chapter Ten

  Devil on My Shoulder

  Dane stayed with Max all night, making love and talking. For reasons Dane wasn’t entirely clear on, Max seemed at ease opening up to him, telling him things that he was sure other ears rarely, if ever, had privy to. Dane told him things as well, but they both managed to keep that one secret unspoken.

  “You really like him, don’t you?” The gray light of dawn pressed at the drapes as they had yet to get any real sleep.

  “Who?” Dane murmured, though he knew the answer.

  “Angel.”

  He sighed. “Yeah, I…guess I do.”

  Max turned his head and looked at him. “You are aware that he likes you too, right?”

  Dragging his hands down his face, Dane groaned. “Yeah…maybe…” A sh
ort laugh puffed off his lips. “I don’t know.”

  “Why are you fighting it?” Max asked quietly.

  “I don’t know that either.” Dane admitted, then looked at him and smiled. “Maybe I’m afraid of commitment.”

  Chuckling low, Max shook his head and rubbed the back of his hand down Dane’s chest. “I don’t think that’s it.”

  Dane exhaled heavily and tucked his arms under his head, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know.” He said quietly, soberly. “Maybe…I don’t think I deserve the love of an angel.” He shrugged. “Or anyone for that matter.”

  Max turned onto his side and gazed at him. “Why would you think that?” He traced patterns on Dane’s chest and stomach. “From my standpoint, you’re a hell of a good man.”

  The memories pushed in and Dane closed his eyes. “I wasn’t always.” He whispered.

  ***

  The hard kick to the end of the mattress came way too early for Angel. A couple more hours of sleep was much coveted, but Axel’s insistent foot jabbing the bed refused to let him rest.

  “What?” Angel mumbled.

  “Breakfast time, slut boy.” He said. “Get on it.”

  Angel rolled over and groaned, eyes heavy. But he knew better than to tell the guy to go away; the next kick would be to his gut or ribs. “Okay.”

  “Well get a move on.” He ordered. “You have three hungry mouths to feed.”

  Three? It didn’t take much thought to figure out that the third mouth belonged to Byrd. Instant tension squeezed his chest. Byrd was a catalyst that made an already bad situation–even worse. Nothing good ever came of his visits. He was the exception to the no side jobs deal. If he put up the cash, he got what he wanted, every time.

  Maddy was still asleep and he didn’t wake him. He would have to eat when Wade and Axel did, they wouldn’t let him make something later. But Angel would let him sleep until breakfast was done–especially since Byrd was there.